Embarrassing Moments Down Memory Lane

Figuring out which TV show to quote and when is a good skill to learn...

The State was half-hour sketch show on MTV that aired in the mid-90's. I thought it had its moments. A lot of the people in it moved on to shows like Viva Variety and then Reno 911. My favorite sketch is the pudding one. Below you can see both pudding and "Louie".

At the Movies with Monster Barrel

I love movies, and I love going to the movies. So, there will probably be a lot of movie comics showing up here...below are a few of "classic" MB that I'm migrating over. (Classic = "older" as opposed to "should be touched up and rereleased as part of the Criterion Collection.")

Drive wasn't terrible-terrible, but it's very over-deliberate, and not very good. The credits also used this throwback pink curly font that made me think of 80's movies like...Mannequin.

The women who walked out of the theater behind me were hilarious. "I hated it!" one ranted to the other. "Only a dumbass would like that movie!" On the flip-side, I haven't met a man who has seen this movie and didn't like it, so to each one's own.

Probably the most fun I had with this comic was trying to draw the terrible Valhalla Rising in three tiny pictures. If I did this again, I would try to work in the awful color filters in more.

True story. Us too cool for school got a bunch of booze and Twilight Eclipse and planned to have a fun movie night in. Lo-and-behold, this movie is awful but boring-awful. Thus not at all fun to watch.

After a while, I stopped drinking, lay on the floor, and just waiting for it to end. The only scene that was really amusing was when Jacob had to warm Bella with his super-high body heat while Edward looked on sourly.

War Horse was fine, but I didn't have a religious experience like my friends who have seen the play. It is oddly bloodless for a war movie, which made me think even more that this was a film that would be slapped into the school DVD player on those awkward afternoons right before a long holiday when no one wants to do anything.

Super 8 was pretty rad. A little heavy on the homage, but still a fun ride.

And finally...

I volunteered for three years at a local volunteer-run cinema. It was a fun gig. My favorite part was serving the movie patrons, since most people going to the movies are in a good mood, especially those going to a volunteer-run theater.

And one skill I took away was that to make really tasty popcorn in an old popcorn machine, you use A LOT of oil, in this case canola. I was taught to use a quarter to a third of a cup, but I usually used a half to 2/3, and you can really tell the difference. Your heart might not be thanking you, but trust me, it tastes way way better.

What Not to Get at Trader Joe's

 

I know. It's lunchtime, and you have your "hunger goggles" on. Everything looks good at the Trader Joe's, and it's all oh-so-affordable. And then you see it--package upon package of plastic-wrapped sushi rolls--salmon, California, vegetable. Your stomach says, "Yes! God, Yes! Please! Now! Shove that in your maw! RAWWWWWR!"

Don't do it. Grab one of those salads underneath or maybe try that bi bim bap in the frozen section. Or go back to the sample counter, but this time use a funny accent (Cajun?) so they'll know that this isn't your fourth time eating one of those turkey meatballs.

Please listen to one who has paid the price MULTIPLE times, because I either forgive or just plain forget how absolutely terrible Trader Joe's sushi is.

I can't put my finger on what's the worst component. Is it the cold gummy rice or the mushy insides that might have once been food? All I know that is that seconds after I put the first piece in my mouth, I feel how wrong it is.

Just don't. YOU DESERVE BETTER. You are allowed to eat real food on your lunch. You have a whole afternoon to look forward to. Don't fill it with regrets. I might walk that broken path of lunch dreams gone wrong, but you don't have to.

Live. Live to the fullest. Choose something else.

Happy Mother's Day!

Thanks for everything, Mom!

Conflict Management 101

My initial dream scenario for this was for it to happen in the board room during an all-hands meeting--someone at the table yells "I am a firetruck!" and starts spinning in his chair, all the while people continue to try to have the meeting while he wee-woos in the background.

Yes, our poor mediator is holding a giant turkey leg. I have a small obsession with eating a giant turkey leg. I went to the saddest Ren faire once, and they did not have them. All they had was some mixed nuts, a jerk chicken stand, and some hot dogs. My guess is that giant turkey legs are actually pretty bad, and probably really dry, but I like the idea of taking a big bite out of one. Maybe someday...

Movie Time - Sanctum

I'm so glad I didn't see this movie in the theater....

I know, SPOILER! But I'm doing you a favor--skip this movie unless you have a life mission to see every movie that's ever been made about caves.  And even then, you're probably better off watching The Descent again.

I really want to emphasize that not only did a lot of people drown in this movie, but that number includes 2 suicide drownings, 3 forced drownings, and one foiled forced drowning. And this was in 3D!

Origin Story

Here are a few more "back-images" of Monster and Bunny

This could be called an "origin story."

A lot of the early Monster drawings were all titled "Because I am a Monster." This was mostly because Monster saw himself as something scary and unwanted. He's a big green monster--he's had to deal with a lot of prejudice, and it's been hard to make friends. So he would blame everything on being a monster--People won't talk to me because I am a monster. I am treated poorly because I am a monster.

And just like anyone else, he gets lonely.

And then Bunny comes in. This is how they met.

My friend Anne asked one day if she could be in one of the "drarrings". It seemed like a fun challenge.

Monster's favorite face is to scowl--he's used to trying to keep people away from him--but even he couldn't help looking happy here.

Last year's Lunar New Year celebration -- the Year of the Rabbit. :D